So many of us feel like an imposter within our own specialities, and I hear people talk about this feeling a lot. No matter how much evidence there is that we’re successfully navigating our lives, jobs and relationships, many of us hold false beliefs that we’re not actually as capable or as smart as others think we are… You feel that everyone got the manual to life except you!
A little research into imposter syndrome and I discovered that it’s often those who are hard workers, high achievers and perfectionists who are most likely to feel like frauds. These people then overwork, simply to achieve the impossibly high standard they’ve set for themselves. They also won’t ask for a promotion or a pay rise, feeling their success is more down to luck than hard work.
If this is something you’re struggling with then I recommend that you go back in your mind, and try to think where these thoughts have originally come from. Going back to beliefs and values and discovering what created these thoughts in our lives.
Write it out
Try writing it out, because sometimes we think we’re not enough, but we haven’t actually verbalised it. Getting out what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling, can really help you to see how outdated some of these thought processes now are. Take time to explore your beliefs and unbox some of those underlying fears.
Now readjust your values where needed. Perhaps one of your values is perfectionism, and although that isn’t a terrible value to have, you may need to adjust where your bar is at so that you’re not overworking yourself and setting yourself up for failure.
Don’t try to control your emotions directly, because you can’t. It can take time for the mind to catch up and start to believe what you’re telling it. Have faith and give yourself some time to heal. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your confidence will build over time.
The only way to stop feeling like an imposter is to stop thinking like an imposter. Don’t wait until your imposter feelings have passed to put yourself out there, fake it a little and over time those feelings will disappear.
Joining a business community can make you realise how common these feelings are, but also give you an opportunity to explain and demonstrate your expertise to a new audience and therefore start you on you the path of self-belief. There’s nothing like receiving a recommendation from someone you respect, to boost your confidence.
If you’d like to learn more about our business community at the Family Business Practice, please do get in touch. I’d love for you to come along to one of our sessions as my guest.